Actually heard on the news :
"Unfortunately, the blue wall of the Democratic fortress did not hold and a wave of red crashed on the northeastern states."
It's not gonna be easy, but I'm gonna try to report the same news using MORE biased language.
"The cute little angels of the nice and beautiful princess Hillary did not bring enough marshmallows and ultrasoft WhiteSwan bathroom tissue to retain the fatal hordes of the mortal enemy of evil demon Donald Trump and his gang of studded Hell's who invaded the territory while laughing maniacally and distributing crystal-meth to 4-year-old kids."
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